"Dear Woman, sometimes you’ll just be too much woman." Matthew E. Reid.

I admit it, I’m one of 'the ones' that no longer turn to magazines for inspiration. I turn to influencers and social media. I buy magazines on the (very) odd occasion but it’s mainly because a print Ad campaign I’ve worked on has featured, not because I want to see the latest trends. But there is one publication I still read online and that’s Stylist.

The witty tone of voice, articles featured and fashion pages are by far my favourite. I always find the articles quite empowering. It’s the working fashion girl, writing for the working fashion girl. Whether their covering new products in their honest voice or it’s about feeling the burden of juggling your work and social life, I like to unwind and feel reassured that I’m not on my own. 

Recently Stylist covered an article on influencers and social media,  and how women are empowering each other to do better. The quote was from poet Matthew E. Reid who wrote:

"Dear Woman, sometimes you’ll just be too much woman. Too smart, too beautiful, too strong. Too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will start making you feel like you have to be less of a woman.

"The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand, you do not need a smaller crown - you need a man with bigger hands."

@Sjanaelise the posted this to follow on her Instagram account:

Image Source: Stylist.co.uk

This really resonated with me. I’ve been properly single now for around three years. There’s been boyfriends in-between but nothing that I’d consider serious compared to my previous relationship which was (on and off) for around six years. Since then I’ve been in and out of dating but no one has ever been able to handle my work life. Whether that’s staying in London a few nights a month, or responding to emails out of hours, I’ve never honestly met anyone who’s proud of what I do.

Now this probably goes back to the ‘cave man' time when men had to be the breadwinners and women had to stay at home look pretty, and cook for the children… Well we’re living in the 21st Century now guys. If you want a life like that then that’s fine, but if you meet someone who’s independent and works hard for a living, loving what she does then you need to accept that too.

Being single I’ve learnt this the hard way. I’ve dated guys before where I've had to talk down my job. I’ve had to reply with ‘yeah I’ve had a good day’ because they’ve had a crap shift at work, when really I wanted to start telling them that my day had actually been amazing, maybe we’d just got a new business lead or maybe my Director was really happy with a campaign proposal I’d put together. But really, all I’d replied with ‘yeah I’ve had a good day.’ 

As I look back I almost laugh at myself. A guy once told me he didn’t like my black nails… Now if you’ve met me, you’ll know that black is all I wear. So you know what happened the next time I went to get my nails done? I got red instead - how laughable is that! I’ve also been asked “for once can’t you just wear jeans and a t-shirt?” So you know what I did? I wore jeans and a t-shirt when we went for food and I’d never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I don’t do jeans.

I look back and think how stupid that was. To talk down a job I’ve worked so hard for, to wear something ‘normal’ because someone didn’t want to put on a nice pair of jeans themselves. Well Matthew E.Reid, you couldn’t be more accurate. Girls, we shouldn’t have to "remove any jewels from our crown.” So as I type this with my black nails, not wearing ‘jeans and a t-shirt’ I can honestly say I’ll look back on this post when I’m feeling down and remember that the right man is out there. Somewhere. 

Here I’m wearing Lavish Alice Keyhole Knit, Black Wide Leg Trousers, Black Maxi Duster Coat and my Black Old Skool Vans.